My Houston clients will vouch that divorce is a hugely stressful experience. Most people going through a divorce can benefit from therapy.
When looking for a therapist, connection with a therapist is very important. Do not go in for one visit and expect the problem will be solved. Instead, you should feel a sense of peace in the first meeting. You want to feel a sense of where you are going with this therapist.
Divorces are crazy-making experiences. Dealing with the non-financial issues are as important as the financial issues. It is tough to make the best decisions when you feel despair, sorrow and simply the crazies.
If you want a referral to a Houston or College Station therapist with years of marital and divorce advising experience, send me an email.
I help Houston divorcing couples find mutually agreeable settlements. Frequently, part of that settlement is finding suitable health insurance for the unemployed spouse.
I give my clients homework. Get this document, copy these statements and so forth. The most neglected homework assignment is to obtain health insurance quotes. Perhaps it is a scary thing to do. I give them a referral to a great health insurance agent, but still, they procrastinate.
Many can get COBRA through their spouse’s employer. But it is important to check out all your options. COBRA coverage is usually more expensive than health coverage for employees, because the employer typically pays part of the premium for the employees. If you are the divorced spouse who is covered with COBRA, you are going to pay the entire premium without the benefit of an employer subsidy.
As a former spouse, you can elect to continue the COBRA coverage for as long as 36 months. Check with your spouse’s Human Resources department for the exact length of time. In Texas, your coverage might be only for 18 months. The plan administrator for the health plan has about 14 days to notify the person of their right to get the COBRA coverage. The person needing COBRA coverage must contact the plan administrator within 60 days of the divorce or legal separation.
Most importantly, get your health insurance options straight early in the divorce so you can make an informed decision and negotiate for the premium expenses during the property settlement discussions.
This is for the mature husbands who have always been in control of the money and the serious decisions. You know who you are. You’re the guys who are married to the wife who always looked to you to make the decisions and hand out the advice.
The gotcha here is that you think your wives will not change after you ask for the divorce. She has always let you make the big decisions. She has always looked up to you for your leadership and brains. Now, it feels a bit like a burden to you.
But once she hires me in Houston or College Station, she will begin to wean away from that dependency. You say “Great! I want her to be independent.” Yes, until she starts questioning your wisdom.
She or her attorney hire me to help her understand the family finances and her settlement options. We figure out her living expenses and those of your children. We are accurate and we have reams of backup to prove it. The trouble is that you listed those expenses at significantly less. That’s because you estimated those expenses while I nail them down tight.
I really do feel for you husbands who are surprised when their soon-to-be-ex wives find their sea legs during divorce. It is a shock to be suddenly questioned after years of respect and trust. You are honest. You are looking after her best interests as you have always done. Why all this grief and mistrust? Because she is finally learning to stand on her own. She is questioning. She is seeking and getting guidance.
Guys, don’t make the mistake of thinking your wives will keep relying on you during the divorce. These wives become independent. And you need to be prepared to deal with it.